May 02, 2012

She is ready to be 9 but am I?

Am I the ONLY one out there that feels this way.....My baby girl (who is really my oldest) is turning 9 today.

And Boy do I have an explosion of feelings inside!
Not sure if I want to celebrate or get sad, be happy or mad, smile or cry...

I guess I knew this moment was bound to get here but I'm not ready.
And then again who is? Where you?

Nine is a big number. The age in which they start transforming themselves into young teenagers (golp...teenagers! Such a scary word!).
I knew the time had to come but again I am not ready.

She is my baby. She was just in diapers yesterday. I want to hold onto her for a little longer.
I want her innocence to stay with her for ever.
I want her hugs to be candid and warm, I want to hear the I love you's for a while longer.
The letters of love and "the mom I missed you".
The wanting to spent time with mom, the no make up time periods.

I dont know that I am ready to talk about boys, to have "the" talk, to start explaining the birds and the bees...
I want to hold on for a little longer but time is slowly taking her away...

I knew the time had to come but I am so not ready.
And she is. She is so eager to turn nine. She cant stop talking about it. She is now a big girl, who
could cross the street alone and watch programs for older kids.
Who makes believe she is in charge of the younger ones, the one that could handle bigger tasks.

I just pray for Guidance, for the words of wisdom to tell her, the knowledge to handle her, the love
to protect her, the Lord to take good care of her...

And here tonight as I'm typing and crying I wish one day I could help her be the woman my
mom helped me be...

Bibi, I love you, just dont grow up too fast.