May 05, 2010

Circumcision...It is ok not to follow a trend.

How often you have found yourself in a situation in which you have so much to say but have to hold back and bit your tongue?

I have to say that those who know me know that this rarely happens to me. I, for the most part tend to speak my mind regardless of who likes it or not. This might very well not be the best practice and some people like it and some don't. And to be honest I've found myself in a place in life in which i will say what i want to say whenever i want to. However, i try to be a little bit more reserve around my work because well if i dont then i'll get fired and we all have bills to pay.

That been said, let me go ahead and say that i am all against circumcision. I have an 8 months old son and when i found out he was going to be a "he" i inquired about it. My doctor said that there was no actual medical reason or benefit to have it done other than religious reasons or to make it look "pretty". I will apologize in advance for what I'm about to say, but that is some bullshit!

Come on now! You mean to tell me that i'm going to make my newborn child undergo such pain just because i want his penis to be pretty!

First of all let me say that as a mom i dont need "it" to be pretty, ok. I will be looking at it for a limited amount of time and unless there is something really wrong with me phychologically why in the hell will i be worry on how pretty or not it looks.

That been said let me also say that as a parent i have the right to make constructive important decisions in regards to my child and this does not seem to be one of them. Come on now, we are supposed to make decisions that will have a great impact on their lives and this impact is supposed to be the best possible decision for them, not the opposite. Decisiding if your child should have a brain tumor removed or not is an important decision. making his penis look pretty is not.

Today at my job, i encounter a woman who is pregnant. She has a daughter and was hoping for a boy this time around. While with her the circumcision theme came up and her answer was "oh, i am soo getting that done because without it ""that thing"" looks soo ugly, euff!!"

Are you serious?!? Have you done any reseach? Have you consulted a doctor? Do you know that there are any benefits to it?

 NO!! So why in the world have you already made such an important decision for your child, why not get informed. Why not get all the details and then make a decision.

We read books about pregnancy, we do prenatal yoga. We take time to inquire about the different birthing methods and even take tours of the hospital were we are planning to deliver that baby. We do the most extensive search for the perfect baby name but when it comes to such an important live changing surgery we take such a lightly decision. Why don't we get informed. Why don't we think about it and realize that we are not allowing our kids to make this decision on their own.

If one day my son wakes up and feels that his penis is not as pretty as he dreamed it then he could go on and get it done. Heck, I might even help him pay for it but her would have been old enough to have an informed decision and the consequences of it. I would just be glad I didnt follow a trend, that I followed my heart.

March 30, 2010

sick of breastfeeding talks

I, like many other women, have children (3 to be exact). I love my kids very much. I would do the unimaginable for them. My kids range from 6 years old to 7 months old.

I, like many other women, I’m sick of breastfeeding blogs.

The part that sickens my about them is the fact that some of them make it seem as if you don’t breastfeed you baby you are a “bad mom” or even anti God (bare with me you will understand more in a minute).

But first let me say this for the record:

I always knew I wanted to breastfeed my kids even before I had them. I tried breastfeeding.

The first time around the milk just would not come. Call it whatever you want, it just would not come. I tried for a whole month and my child was going hungry. She was very colicky and whinny and would easily throw up anything she was feed. So I tried and tried and tried until I (yes that’s right I) gave up. During this “I must breastfeed time” I went through Postpartum depression (I had no clue that existed at the time). I felt unloved; I was extremely sleep deprived from trying to breast feed day and night. I was angry at myself for not being able to provide my child with the much needed breast milk.

The second time around, I tried again and again failed. I again beat myself up everyday because I was not producing enough milk for my baby. I consulted a lactation consultant and spoke to my doctor about it. I followed all of their advice but still could not breastfeed.

The third time around (and notice how by the third time I have not giving up on it, still trying) it was worse. I had my 2 last children very close to each other (10 months apart) and as my doctor said my body had no time to heal. The pain I felt while trying to breastfeed was so intense that one day my partner found me on the floor unable to move. I was crying as if I had just got beaten up, because I tried to breastfeed.

I was in excruciating pain. This was worse that giving birth to my second child (whom I deliver with NO PAIN medication whatsoever). It was painful. He gave me Ibuprofen and tried to get me to stand up but I couldn’t. To make a long story short “I” decided to stop breastfeeding (you could read my article on breast feeding if you want to know the whole story).

Now that this is clear allow me to continue with my story.

I’ve come across some blogs that portray breastfeeding as “a mothers responsibility” and “as God designed food”. This articles frown upon the parent who make the important decision not to breastfeed. What they don’t include is that a mom does not simply get up one day and says “ah I just don’t feel like breastfeeding anymore”. That is not how this comes to be. Most moms know that breastfeeding is important and they want to breastfeed their babies but is not as easy for some of us. Not as easy as it look’s.

I also came across “The Human Pacifier” a blog that promotes and embraces the dignity behind breastfeeding. But in my opinion omits how hard it is for some women. How for some of us is not as easy as saying this is what we were born to do. How it fails to point out that the fact that we are mother’s does not necessarily means that we “must” breastfeed our kids because it’s hard wired in our system.

In the other hand I really like an article I found in PostPartum Progress that talks about the “ok” in not breastfeeding.

It promotes breastfeeding without putting down the woman who decides that breastfeeding is simply is not for them.

Yes breastfeeding is recommended and it’s good for mother and baby but a woman has the right not to breastfeed.

And that doesn’t make her a bad mom. A woman (me) has the right not to be questioned or looked at "funny" just because she is not breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is a different experience for everyone. And while some enjoy it and embrace it, some of us are a lot less fortunate and go through a great deal of emotional stress and pain.

I firmly believe that if breastfeeding affects the mental and emotional peace that a woman should have and the relationship of a mom with her baby then its best not to breastfeed at all. Call me crazy or anti-breastfeeding but nothing (including breastfeeding) should be in the way of your emotional health.

Being a mom is a joy and is also very stressful. There are a lot of choices to make, a lot of worrying involved with vaccines, sudden death syndrome, poisoning, child care, money, marital life and so much more that we don’t need to add extras to the bucket.

Call me weird but breastfeeding is a woman’s choice and it should not be frowned upon if she decides not to.

Asides from all the great benefits a mom doesn’t have to breastfeed to be a good mom. I happen to be a great mom (or so I was told by my 6 year old). My children are healthy, happy and I give then all the love I have and more. I decided not to beat myself up or allow anyone to do so just because I decided to call it quits.

I propose the "I decide whether to breastfeed or not" movement. Because it is my choice. It’s your choice!

March 11, 2010

Blogging failure

I'm officially a blogging failure!
I have given Nablopomo 2 tries and I just cant do it. I cant stick to the daily blogging thing. Call me lazy or super busy but I just can't.

And I have tried. I have a mini personal laptop that I could take with me eveywhere. I have a HTC pro touch 2 phone which I could use to update my blogs but I still cannot find the time to do my blogging. and dont get me wrong I like writing. I just dont think I need t write everyday.

I guess doing this makes you a better writer and helps with writer's block. But in my particular case I like to have something meaningful to write about and not just anything that comes up to mind.

I have so much to write about everyday. My kids always share something funny and my co-workers always go through stressfull situations.
There are so many funny situations and things that I encounter that material to write about is not the problem. I just cant seem to make time to write.

Writing to me is a venting method and some days I've seem to have vented before I even get to a PC.
To me writing is my way to letting out some of my daily stress. Is an outlet for all the negative energy that gets dump on my every day.
And as of today I have made it my resolution to write only when I want to. I'll not be a slavve of having to write everyday to get a batch or to be a good writer. I could be a good writer and write only what I want to write.

March 01, 2010

jelous of blogger

I'm sure I'm not the first person this happens to. I recently started blogging ( as you probably already know) and I'm expending some of my "free" time blogging.

I'm not into My Space or Facebook. I had those before but I'll rather write. Writing is more my thing.
I still wanted my blog to look nice, you know. The background, the buttoms, the whole works.
And of course this takes some time.

And joining NaBloPoMo is hard work. Blogging everyday when you have a full time job and 3 kids plus a small business in the rise is kind of exhausting.

Any how, not to bore you anymore, my honey bunches is jelous of blogger. He states that I spend "wayyy" to much time doing this and not with him. Now what to do, what to do?

I'm looking for suggestions on how to deal with someone who is jelous of blogging?

Please post your comments below!

February 28, 2010

let's give it another try!

Ok I'm ready! Or so I think.
I tried taking the NaBloPoMo pladge last month and it didnt work. I love writing but sometimes making the time is hard. I make the mistake of waiting until the end of my day to try to write and my mind was completely blank.
And I dont mean writer's block blank, I mean I am tired out of my mind blank. Between my kids, my full time day job, this new business I'm  starting and my disaster of a personal I end up exhausted.

And I this could probably be just an excuse but seriously somedays is just hard to sit in front of my pc @ 11:00 at night and come up with something I will later on be proud of.

So here we go again. Starting 3/1 i will attemp again this blogging thing. Nothing will have change around my house or life. I'll just have a to take a positive attitude and my desire to one day publish my book and hit this blogging thing head first.

Wich me good luck, I will need it!

February 11, 2010

Unloading in an stranger commode

I think is safe to say that we all have been in this unconforable situation. The situation in which we mus (emphasis on the must) use the restroom.

When your body (or bottom) says here it goes there is not stopping it. No matter what you do, how you seat, the feeling of "I have to go" wont go away.

Today I was at work and that feeling sriked. I was having a conversation with a co-worker and I had to suddently stop and run. Uhm,. it was back.
And Oh! that felt liberating. The feeling of emptyness that one feels after.


February 10, 2010

Oh you took off the paint?

The other night my fiance and I did something that we had not done in a long time, we went out alone...

Yeap that;s right dont be jealous. Alone just the 2 of us. No one else. NO ONE ELSE. Again we love the kids but after our 3rd one we finally understood the importance of us time.

We felt (or at least I did) like a new person. Someone without a care in the world. For the first time we went out without me calling 20 times home and checking on the kids.
We enjoyed a drink, ate really good, unhealthy food and didnt mention the kids. Again, we love our kids but this time alone I could really get used to!!!

Our babysitter had brought her sister alone to keep play with my 6 yr old. We were ready to get out the door (literally) and we were giving our final instructions to her. Her sister is about 13 yrs old but she is very innocent in regards to certain things (which is good considering the world we live in today).

Our walls had been previously painted with a dark yellow and green color (no comments). Well at least half of our walls were painted. We ran out of paint and the walls had been half way painted for over a year (you know we had 2 kids back to back).
Anyhow,she had gotten used to the colors on the wall I guess. W recently painted our walls white. She came in and looked around looking for what had changed. She finally found it and said " Oh you took the paint off the walls?"

February 09, 2010

Today my 6 year old came running to the kitchen (place where I spend most of my time), "mommy, mommy I have a mosquito under my arm!"

Uhm?! A mosquito?
"a mosquito, mommy. It's iching me a lot!"
How in the world could a mosquito get right under her arm pit if she is wearing a long sleeve shirt?

"Honey, it's called soap and water. Not a mosquito." Like many other children (at least 3 of mine) hate taking a bath or a shower. Telling then is bath time is like telling then they are going on time-out. Tehy fuss and get uoset.

She didnt pay much attention to what I said about the bath. She just kept on scraching and scraching. And I just laughed. I mean what can I possibly do about it.

February 07, 2010

if 2 girls kiss are they gay?

What do you tell a 6 six year old @ 10 o'clock in the morning when she asks "mommy, if a girl and a girl kisses does that make them gay?"

Uhm?!What?! Where did you learn that?!? That is what I wanted to screammed!! But I held my self back and took a deep breath...and another deep breath... and another...

Let me start out by saying that I DON'T have anything against Gays or Lesbians. And I knew that with todays society it was just a matter of time before that question will come up. I just didn't expect it now. I mean she is just 6!!!

I know that when I was growing up Gays and Lesbians was something unspoke of. It was a big taboo and no one will dare to talk about it. People were living in the dark. Hiding to the world and lying to themselves about what sex they were attracted to or who they loved.

Now a days things have change. People are still very reserve when it comes to the subject but more and more people talk about the subject and are not afraid to say "hey i'am a lesbian and i like women!".
But when my daughter asks me I just didnt know what to tell her.

I tried to remain as cool as possible and told her that it was true, that if a girl likes a girl (like mommy lloves daddy) then she was lesbian. I went on and told her that one day when she is older she will understand more about it. And that one day she will marry a handsome guy and she didnt have to worry about that kind of stuff. I mean she is just a little girl.

To my surprise she started crying saying that no boy would like to marry her and I am like WHAT?!

"Honey, you do not need to worry about boys wanting to marry you or not!" I said. I continued to explain to her that she was a beautiful girl and that when the time was right she will marry the man she likes.

Now this got me thinking: why in the world a 6 year old is worrying about who she marries? She is only 6!!!

I blame myslef for allowing her to watch movies in which the pretty princess marries the handsome prince. In which a 16 year old mermaid marries the guy her dad told her to forget about. For reading her a story of how he kissed her and the witches spell broke and they lived happily ever after.

Don't get me wrong I (like any other mother) want my daughter to be happy. I want her to one day find true love and get marry and have beautiful children.

I do not want my 6 year old thinking about marriage or about gay people. I want her to think about toys and games and school. Not about marriage.

This hit my like a rock. I have allowed her to watch movies and read this stories. I have decorated her room with castles and princesses who have happily ever after stories in which they fall in love with their perfect prince and now she has this mentality of I must marry the perfect man when she is only 6!!

How in the world did this happened? And most importantly how do I fix it? Can I fix it?

January 30, 2010


I have  kids. I have always been aware of the importance of breastfeeding. All the benefits that your newborn baby gets from it and also how it helps your body heal so much faster.

But I also know that it's ok no to breastfeed if doing so interferes with how you feel towards your baby.

After I had my son (3rd child) I was ready to breastfeed again. I've always breastfeed my children for at least 3mths each. But this time was different.This times was painful.

My 2nd and 3rd child are 10 months apart. I became pregnant right after my post partum visit, My body had not healed. Everything was more painful.

Aside from everything I was determined to keep trying. That was until one morning while my partner was taking our daughter to school I tried to breastfeed. He found me lying on the floor crying because of the pain.
I had this excrutiating pain that would not stop.

He gave me an ibuproben and rubbed my lower belly but I couldnt get up. The pain started when I tried to breastfeed my son. It was worse that labor pain (mind you, I have had all 3 kids vaginally and 1 of them with NO drugs!).

After this dramatic episode (like he calls it) I kept on trying. Every attempt was unsuccesful. I just could not breast feed him. I couldnt!

After a while I was ok with that. He was healthy. Eating like a horse. No concerns.

But then something about other people feeling that they have the right to ask you whether your are breastfeeding or not made me feel guilty. And if your answer is NO, you have to deal with this accusing "your are a bad mother look" frustates me greatly.

I started trying to make excuses and explaining myself to complete stangers who do not know or need to know what happened. Then I'll ask my self, why? Why do I need to explain myself?

A woman has all the right in the world not to breastfeed. And that doesnt make her a bad mom. A woman (me) has the right not the questioned ot looked at "funny" just because she is not breastfedding.

It's my choice!

I happen to be a great mom ( or so I think). My children are healthy, happy and I give then all the love I have and more.

Therefore I propose the "I decide whether to breast feed or not" movement.

let me write it for you

I got home from work and the chaos began. Homework needed to be done. Dinner needed to be done. My 5 month old was hungry (who knows why), my 15 month old needed mommies attention and the 6yr old had to do homework and was worried about dinner ( she is a picky eater).

Nothing new. Sufise to say this is what happens at me house everynight.

My 6 year old, Brithanie, gets ups and asks "mommy when are you going to be sckinie?"

"Uhm?!" I could not understand what she was trying to tell me. I ask her 4 times what she meant. I tought it was something homework related, something that had happen earlier at school or at after school.

"Let me write it down for you, mommie" she says while I keep preparing dinner. Time keeps running you know.

She comes back to me with a half sheet from her notebook that reads "sckinie".

"What does that say, bibi?"

"It says sskyniee, mommie. When are you going to be skinny like me again?"

I could have died in that moment and not even noticed!!
Why in the world was my 6yr old worried on whether I was skinny or fat. Granted I'm over weight but i just had 2 babies back to back!! Can someone cut a girl some slack?!

I looked at her and laugh. I explained to her that mommy just had a baby and that it will take a looonnnggg time for mommy to lose the baby weight. To which she replaied " yeah mommy but you dont have another baby in there, do you?"