April 24, 2013

The beginning of a new me

I've decided to rediscover myself. After a much needed set back and self discovery I've come to realize that there is a HUGE list of things that I wish and dream to accomplish in my life that I have NOT put my heart in to.

They have been around for a while but I've always put them on the side and put everything else first.

I've also decided that it doesn't need to be Monday or the beginning of a month for me to start putting together the pieces of the puzzle called Life and to start making those dreams a reality. I decided that today was the best day to begin. So here I am, dreams in hand looking to give myself a shake and start out strong!

As part of my plan I've decided to give myself the next 30 days to change. I don't have a plan or a clue of what I am actually doing but what I do have is the desire to succeed, a need for change, a hunger for a new me. For the next 30 days you will witness my change, both physically and spiritually and emotionally

So be ready world because this is the new me!
Me after a good work out.

February 17, 2013

Don't want to lose myself....

Have you watch "Eat, Pray, Love"?

I did about 2 years ago. It was love at first sight. I watched it in a period of my life when i needed
advice on how to move on. How to cope and deal with certain situations i was going thru.

I watched again the other night. I felt the same way as 2 years ago. It helped me understand that I need
to guide my life in an specific direction. That as I got older I got better. That my life didn't depend any
more on what other people felt or what they wished but rather on what I wanted for it.

I tell people i'm getting a divorce and they are more worried about my next man than asking what happened
with the one i'm losing. Its amazing how Society works.

I feel like Julia Roberts in the movie.  I find myself repeatedly telling folks I don't need a man. Which I might
do in the future since companionship is not a bad thing, but I don't need one. It feels like I need to battle
people and get them to understand that life could be lived without dragging someone alone.

No one ever stops to think that some of us might not want someone else after a love story ends. Maybe we
just need to find our place in life, how do we fit into this world. What are we here to do or who we are here to serve.

I guess what I am trying to say is that for some of us our joy and happiness doesn't rely on an specific someone anymore. The fairy tale ride came along, we enjoy it while it lasted, got off and kept on walking....

January 28, 2013


Do you remember your teen years? I do. 

The other day I sat down to think about my teen years and how I wanted, like most of you,  so badly to be a grown up. 
I was dying to grow up. Have my own car, a house, my family. I dreamed of the happily ever after that most movies show, the one most of us dream to have. My mom is a single mom of 4 and I grew up seeing her struggle with everyday stuff. It was hard for her to provide for us. It was hard to do it alone. 

I thought to myself: I don't wish to do it alone. When I grow up, I want to share the burden with someone else. I want my Happily ever After.

It turns out life had other plans. My wheels have come off and after 3 kids and at the age of 31 I've come to the conclusion that my happily ever after doesn't involve a husband. It requires God and the same determination my mother had to do what she believed was best. Best for us. 

So here I go world, three kids in hand, a pocket full of wishes and dreams, a bright smile for the not so shiny days....Here I come solitude to embrace you with the words Society sees as a disgrace "divorce"... Take me as I am or watch me move on...

This mom has finally taken her training wheels off...