June 27, 2012

If you only knew

I stare at the door everytime a car stops by
 thinking its you getting home. 
 I wish were home when I walk in this afternoon.
I miss you at night when I lay on your side of the bed and you are not there for me to hug...
I want to feel your warm body next to my cold feet.
I want to be able to lay on your chest and just lay there. 
To hear you snore when i wake up in the middle of the night. 
Boy this is harder than I thought or even imagine.
Part of me hates you (in a way you wouldnt even imagine or dream of)
but another part of me misses you like crazy. 
I want to hug you and push you away at the same time.  
My brain wishes to push you out but my heart keeps bringing you in...
Boy this is not easy. Not one little bit...
If you only knew how much I miss you
how much you mean to me
 if you only knew... 

June 21, 2012

Magic potion, anyone?

I think we could all stop for a moment and remember the last time we felt so depressed that we wanted to crawl into a whole and hide like a kid indefinetely?
If you dont remember, then think deeper, im sure you will find that moment eventually... :)

Ive been feeling like that lately.

I had a mayor life changing moment recently. Will keep it a secret for now but just be happy (or rather sad) that im undergoing such event.

Ive come to terms with the fact that as adults we dont get to choose everything that happens in our life. We choose to live a rather happy, fullfilled life but we cant choose the events that happen in our life.

Life sometimes just happens.
And trust me I know some folks are reading this and going " we could always choose, we just sometimes dont do it, we are the authors of our own story, etc".... Well sorry to brake it to ya... but No you dont always get to choose.
Shit just happens.. We do however have to POWER to make the best of every situation. That i know. And it is now what I mean. So lets leave that on hold for now.

Think back at that time in which you felt like something really weird and perphaps awful happened and you are wondering "how the heck did that happen!"

When that moment HIT YOU RIGHT IN THE FACE,  what did you do to get out of it?! How did you overcome something like that? Any magic potion or light to look at like MIB that will make you erase/forget what happened?