June 27, 2012

If you only knew

I stare at the door everytime a car stops by
 thinking its you getting home. 
 I wish were home when I walk in this afternoon.
I miss you at night when I lay on your side of the bed and you are not there for me to hug...
I want to feel your warm body next to my cold feet.
I want to be able to lay on your chest and just lay there. 
To hear you snore when i wake up in the middle of the night. 
Boy this is harder than I thought or even imagine.
Part of me hates you (in a way you wouldnt even imagine or dream of)
but another part of me misses you like crazy. 
I want to hug you and push you away at the same time.  
My brain wishes to push you out but my heart keeps bringing you in...
Boy this is not easy. Not one little bit...
If you only knew how much I miss you
how much you mean to me
 if you only knew... 

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Wheels here we go!